Today is a very special
day for my family and my daughter in particular. Lexy has been
talking about and waiting for this day for quite a while. She got to
pick an activity; she chose to go to Jump Around Utah, a large bounce
house. We assumed this would be her pick, as it combines climbing
and jumping, two of her favorite things. She also got to choose a
special dinner. In case you’re curious, she requested popcorn
chicken, rice and baked beans. So why the royal treatment for this
little girl today? Well, it’s because she has been home for 3
whole years now!
Many of you reading
this may already know my children well. For those who don't, permit
me a moment to tell you about my daughter. Alexandra (Lexy) Lee
Wayne is 5 years old. She is brave, strong willed, smart and loves
to climb everything possible. She is also a typical girl who loves
shoes, clothes and to have her hair braided. She thoroughly enjoys
her gymnastics class. She has shown a knack for learning piano, but
at least for now, lacks any discipline to actually practice. When
she is so inclined, she is an avid learner, particularly excelling in
geography and grammar. Seriously, she can tell you what tense a verb
is in, can diagram sentences (adverbs, adjectives, nouns and verbs)
and can tell you the four sentence types. Of course, this all has to
be her idea but when she cares to show off her learning, it is
impressive. She bronzes beautifully in the sun, unlike her parents.
She remembers everything we say and will remind us of that at highly
annoying times. She can be surprisingly and extremely helpful to me
in the kitchen or in everyday tasks of the home. She loves to spin
and can do this for way longer than you think is healthy or even
possible without getting dizzy.
This is a brief
portrait of my crazy, wonderful and at times exhausting child.
However, now I want to take a moment to tell you who she was when we
first met her. I am telling you this for two reasons. First, so that
you can truly get to know who this little girl is and how far she has
come. The second, and I feel more urgent reason, is to further
emphasize the need for families to adopt. I hope that this will show
you the difference a family can make in a child's life and why the
plight of orphans cannot continue to be ignored. These kids really
matter. They don’t just matter enough for platitudes or likes on
social media. They matter enough for concrete action on our part.
The following video was taken from our hotel in September 2015, when we first visited Lexy.
Lexy spent the first 17
months or so of her life in an orphanage, of which we know nothing
about. We also know nothing regarding her birth parents, except that
her mother may have use alcohol and that she left her at the hospital
soon after she was born. When Lexy was around 18 or 19 months old,
her orphanage closed down. She was placed in a foster home with two
foster parents and a foster brother. We are so thankful for this, as
being in a more family-like environment made a huge difference for
her and made her transition to our home easier. We are so
appreciative of Lexy's foster mother; she seemed to genuinely care
for her. The family did not have much (we briefly saw their home and
the room where Lexy slept), but her foster mother would take her to
the park regularly and was kind to her. Her little foster brother
loved her and would always give her huge hugs. If he had not already
been adopted by Lexy's foster family, we would have tried to adopt
him as well, to keep them together. When Lexy first came home, she
would call out in Bulgarian (as we found out from some good friends
who skyped with us) for “mother” and “brother”, asking to
play. That was hard on all of us.
When Lexy came home ,
she was two and a half years old. She was not walking on her own
(even though her legs were strong and sound), was not eating solid
food (even though she had a full mouth of teeth), was not using the
toilet and was not speaking at the level typical for her age. I am
not saying these things to disparage her foster family, please
understand that. Blind children are viewed there as much more
disabled than is the reality; it is possible that her foster family
believed she would not be able to walk on her own. As to the food,
they did not have much, it was more affordable to keep her on cheap
items, such as soup. It is understandable but still sad and not how
it should be. When she came home she barely weighed 22 pounds. She
now weighs 34 pounds and is very proud of that fact. And she eats
like a horse and relishes almost any food.
Why am I telling you
this? It is not because I am wanting to show what a great family we
are and how far we have taken this poor girl. On the contrary, she
teaches me so much everyday. I am telling all of this, in hopes of
showing what a stable, loving, structured family and home life can do
for a child. It is not easy by any means and some days are better
than others. Children need family and structure and I hope this
comparison of my daughter’s former and latter life proves that.
Consider if you, as a foster parent or through adoption, could
provide this change of life for a child. It can be a painful
sacrifice on your part, as it is for me on many days, but it is so
worth it!
