I have been blind since birth, and up until recently, this fact
really hasn't bothered me or been much of a concern. I have to say,
that is changing now that children are in the picture. I am finding
instances in parenting where vision would be pretty darn helpful and
convenient, not to mention just simply more efficient. So for
hopefully an amusing read, I thought I would share my five most
vexing issues of parenthood without sight. I hope you all enjoy, here
they are in no particular order:
1: Finding my children's toys
Now, I completely realize that this is a huge pain for any mom, but
it is extra annoying to try and accomplish this task (which occurs at
least 100 times each day) without sight. I mean seriously, my
daughter (my son is a bit more responsible in this area and generally
remembers where he has put things, for which I am so grateful) will
often ask me to find some obscure, tiny trinket that has suddenly
become the only thing in the house worth playing with. And, of
course, the last place she remembers playing with it was "in the
living room." Well, we have a fairly big living room, and it is
so ridiculous and time consuming to try and walk the whole length and
width of our living room, hoping with every short, shuffling step
that my feet haven't missed that one tiny section of carpet where the
blue snowflake bead is sitting. Assuming, of course, that she was
correct and it is actually in the living room and not upstairs, on
the porch, or at grandma's house in Florida. And the worst part is, I
know if (by a kind act of God) I do find it, she'll play with it for
maybe another minute before deciding to run off and go lose something
else.
2: Identifying the color of my daughter's clothing
Now to clarify this point, I am not referring to matching her
clothing. It's actually fairly easy to remember what goes with what.
I mean knowing exactly what color everything is for when she
inevitably asks. For those who know my family well, the fact that my
daughter cares about the color of her clothing at all may seem
strange, as my daughter is completely blind, with no perception of
color whatsoever. But oh that doesn't stop her from being obsessed
about what color each article of her clothing is (and she has like
5000 articles of clothing), and she will ask me incessantly to
identify what colors she is wearing. I have so much going on in my
head as it is and I can barely remember my own wardrobe, there is no
way I am keeping track of hers as well. I know what outfits of hers
pair together based on textures, but keeping an inventory of their
color shades isn't happening. I have to give her credit, though, she
has learned to just go ask daddy. And in case anyone is curious, she
has a favorite color that has remained consistent for some time now.
It is yellow. And no, I have no earthly idea why. To further prove
her color obsession, here's a fun little side story for all of you.
Our kids have these two toy phones that are exactly identical in
every way except one is pink and one is green. Lexy will repeatedly
ask to play with Jon's, to which we reply that they are THE SAME
PHONE! Lexy will insist that, no, they're NOT the same because “his
is green!” But you don't even know what that really means!!! You
can't see colors!!! That fact doesn't affect your experience of the
phone in the slightest! So yeah, I find myself having to know what
color every random thing is for the sake of a kid who can't see color
but still wants to know what color everything is but has a mom who
also can't see color. It's not fun.
3: Finding Socks
Again, I know this is a universal problem for which mankind has not
yet found a solution (except perhaps moving to Florida and never
wearing socks again), but I seriously think the sock population has
figured out that 3 out of 4 in our household can't see. They are even
more masterful at escaping or literally just disappearing out of
existence. (And on a side note, I am chuckling to myself as I write
this, imagining the secret conspiratorial meetings of our socks. This
is what motherhood is doing to me.) I mean, I will take the laundry
pile to the washer and account for all the socks and then when I take
them out of the drier, one out of each pair is often just gone. It is
incredibly vexing and I think if I had vision I would at least be
able to recover SOME of the escapees and have a bit more sanity in my
life.
4: Matching my kids' socks.
All right, anyone noticing a theme here? Apparently, I have sock
issues. But be that as it may, there really is no easy and practical
way without vision to match their socks effectively. I get (at least
in theory) the desire for kids to get to wear colored socks that
match their outfit perfectly... But is it really necessary? I mean,
black or white socks would go well with just about anything, and I
could find a way to label which was which or buy different textured
ones. When more varied colors are added, it just becomes crazy. I
usually just ask my husband (as the one sighted member of the family,
he gets to do all the driving and color matching) or I have resorted
to having a child I am babysitting who is sighted help me match
socks. (Hey, it gave her a task and helped me out.) Maybe that's an
idea, as long as relatives buy colored socks for my kids, I can see
if parents want a 15 or 20-minute break and they can send over their
sighted kids with appropriate color knowledge and help me match
socks... Maybe?
5: Cleaning up poop
So I know I had said these weren't in any particular order, but I
think this might be my biggest issue. Although I consider myself a
decent writer, I don't even have the words to adequately describe how
much I hate doing that task. I mean, it should be fairly obvious, but
it's so hard to know if I've gotten it all or not. There are, of
course, ways to be sure of that without sight, and I do utilize them,
but it's just plain gross. I either have to smell or use my
fingers... enough said, I think. It's an awful task anyway and
factoring in the no vision clause is just adding insult to injury.
I have to say, though, in spite of my complaining, being a parent has
really stretched and grown me. I have realized that I can do a heck
of a lot more things blind than I would have thought; before our
daughter came home, I was utterly terrified at the idea of caring for
a child in any capacity. After her arrival, then babysitting others'
children, and now also having our son, those tasks which petrified me
seem commonplace. But I suppose that's one of the gracious aspects
about parenting that God gives us is the chance to grow, to sacrifice
for others and go way beyond what is comfortable and convenient. It
is a crazy, exasperating undertaking, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
