Music has always been a big part of our family. I wish by that
statement I meant that we all played instruments or sang beautiful
four-part harmony together, but sadly neither is the case.
Although I think Jon has the potential to be the musical genius of
the family. But what I actually mean is that we all love
listening to good music. It is a part of our family culture and
songs are tied to certain events in our lives. This had been
the case when Luke and I were dating and then in our early marriage,
but when kids came into the picture, the influence of music and the
meaning songs held for us only increased. I thought I would
share with all of you 4 songs that have specific ties to our adoption
stories and continue to have a deep impact on myself and/or the whole
family. These songs are very personal to me, as you'll see if
you decide to read on; I hope though that perhaps you may find the
words to these songs comforting to you as well. If these songs
don't specifically affect you, find some that do. Music is one of the
many beautiful gifts that God has graciously given us to enjoy.
Iona is a Christian Celtic-esque band that I have enjoyed since early
college. However, one of their songs took on a whole new
meaning for me when we went to visit Lexy for the first time in
September 2015. We had spent a crazy, terrifying yet wonderful
week with her, getting to know her and trying to comprehend what on
earth parenting would mean for us. Luke and I were dreading
that last day when we would have to say goodbye to her for an
undetermined amount of time. You see, our case had to go
through the courts of her home country and we also had to get Lexy's
visa and other immigration documents together on the U.S. side.
We spent that last day at a park and then had a nice lunch nearby.
The social worker let us go back to the swings with Lexy for a few
more minutes after we had finished up lunch. I remember pushing
her on the swing, fighting back tears, and suddenly that song came to
mind. I started singing it to her, even though she did not know
English yet and had no clue what the words meant. But somehow
those words could not have been more poignant and meaningful to me at
that moment. It was so hard to leave her, wondering if she
would even remember us and having no idea when she would get to come
home, but we knew that God would take care of her. He
absolutely did and we were able to bring her home much faster than we
expected! She was home eight days before Christmas.
Anyone who knows our family well won't be surprised by more than one
Rich Mullins song making this list. As we began the adoption
process for Jon, we were so unsure about his condition. We
didn't know how mobile he would ever be or what other challenges we
would face in raising him. I had known about this song for a
while, as I listen to Rich Mullins music quite a lot. His music
was always played around the house growing up and listening to it
always makes me think of my home and parents in FL, among many other
things. It didn't take long for this song to come to mind, even
well before Jon was home. We already knew that Jon was completely
blind and had a mild form of CP that affects his legs and restricts
his mobility. The image of God's mercy not only taking him by the
hand and "leading" him but also being the "strength in
his legs" could have been written specifically for Jon. The
words are just so perfect for what we felt as we prepared for him to
join our family. As he continues to grow and learn, the lyrics
are just as relevant. They embody so perfectly what we hope for
him, the person we pray we will grow to be.
This song carries for me both joy and sadness, hope and regret.
When we thought we were going to be adopting our twins, this song
held so much meaning. Now that they will be with another
family, it still means a lot to us, but on an even deeper level.
When we had finally decided on their names, we immediately thought of
this song for the girl we had called Madeline. And it's not
just because the title has her name in it. The song is about a
little girl who was sick from a premature birth and not supposed to
live. From what little we knew about our Madeline's history, this was
so similar to her. We think of the song often and, in a way, it
helps us grieve but also makes us smile. I can only wonder, if
we had gotten to know Zoe, what song we would have found for her.
I am very sure we would have, as it seems songs find our kids.
I just wish we could have had the opportunity. We miss them
both.
I've heard this song since college. It depicts everyday common
things in life but is also written very beautifully. I think,
as we wait with excitement to see what child or children will be
joining our family and yet still grieve over those we have lost, the
words of this song ring true. I know that whatever changes are
coming our way and whatever emotions and thoughts they bring, God is
constant throughout it all. I hope, as my kids grow up, they
will come to love music as I do (although I am hoping they will have
the discipline to learn and develop a talent, unlike their mother)
and that I can teach them through beautiful music and poignant lyrics
about God and His wondrous creation.
