I thought I would use this post to answer a question that we are
asked rather frequently. This question is “why did we decide
to adopt internationally, rather than from the United States?”
Now, I think this is a completely logical and reasonable question for
one to ask and I have no objection to it. In fact, we as a
family do not mind questions related to adoption or blindness issues
and are happy to answer them. Now, before answering this
particular question, I feel I need to make one clarifying point
before I give my answer. We chose one route of adoption but I
in no way perceive one way as superior over another. All
children, whether in the US foster system, an orphanage in another
country, or through a private adoption of an infant, deserve to be in
a loving and stable home. The method pursued to adopt does not
make a difference; there is not a best way to adopt and then second
best options. I am always overjoyed to meet others who are
pursuing adoption, in whatever form that takes.
But, returning to our question, when we first started to seriously
consider adoption, we had not honestly even thought of the idea of
adopting internationally. It wasn't on our radar; we were
looking into domestic adoptions through either the foster care system
or private agencies that work with mothers who desire to have their
babies adopted. We assumed international adoption was too
expensive and just not really an option for us. This
perspective changed when we had dinner with some good friends of
ours. They pointed out that we might want to consider overseas
adoptions, as special needs children often are not adopted in foreign
countries by native citizens. They then went on to point out
that there were probably a lot of blind children who might not
otherwise be adopted and that, given my blindness, we would be in a
positive and unique position to benefit them.
I have to admit, this caught us off guard, but in a very positive
way. It seemed like such an obvious point, but somehow it had
never occurred to us before. We discovered that our friends
were correct. As we began the adoption process for our
daughter, we were told by our caseworker that blind
children are significantly less likely to be adopted and this
only increases as they get older. (this is also true of deaf
children). This was again echoed by a caseworker from another
agency as we began the process of adopting our son. Our
worker, in a frank conversation, told us that there were three
factors stacked against him for adoption, he was a boy, was 8, and he
had multiple disabilities, one of them being blindness.
We also had this trend confirmed through some friends of ours who are
from the same eastern European country as our children, but live in
the United States. They told us that it was almost unthinkable
that a native, resident citizen of said country would adopt a blind
child. They also have told us that we have no idea the hardship
and deprivation our children would have faced if they had remained
orphans in that country. Our friends indicated that this would
only grow worse as the kids grew older. We saw a small glimpse
of this harsh reality when we went to visit our son; he was the only
actual child in his orphanage. The others were not, in fact,
children but adults in their twenties. We did not realize this
until we were told, as due to malnutrition and other negative
environmental factors, they were small and looked like children.
This broke our hearts and gave us a glimpse of what would have
awaited him if he had remained there.
As we have come to understand and realize all this, we continue to
pursue overseas adoptions, specifically seeking special needs kids.
Now, please do not misunderstand me, I am not saying that a child
raised in the US foster care system has it well or easy. That
is certainly not the case! I worked in that system and I can still
tell you all the names of the kids I worked with and all they had to
deal with, much of which would make even many adults crumble.
However, a blind child born or placed in the US foster system will
still have access to all the incredible adaptive technology, will be
taught Braille, and will receive orientation and mobility
instruction, all through the schools and state agencies for the
blind. They will be literate, able to use computers and other
technologies and will be able to navigate the world either with a
cane or guide dog. They will be at a much better advantage than
their counterparts overseas. Furthermore, as many in the US are
aware of all the advances in technology, the prevalence of Braille
and travel methods, it is more likely that a blind child in the US
would be adopted.
If anyone is considering adoption through the foster system, don't
overlook special needs children. There are so many services and
technologies available to them and to you to empower them to live the
fullest life possible. They need loving homes just as much as
those overseas. For our part, though, we desire to be a family
for children outside the United States who have harsher odds stacked
against them. Our son, for example, was 8 when he came home.
When we asked the staff at his orphanage what he did in school, their
answers were vague and not very helpful. I grew up in the
public school system and had taken it for granted that braille
instruction and cane travel are automatically given. This was
not the case for our son nor is it for the majority of blind orphans
overseas. We want to help however we can and right now for us, that
means continuing to adopt internationally.
I hope this answered the question for those who have asked and has
also given you a perspective on international adoptions that perhaps
you had not held before. My hope, though, is that you read this
and come away with the realization of the importance and need for
families to adopt in general. There are so many hurting
children, whether they be right here in our country or many miles
away around the world. There is plenty of need for all of us to
meet, whatever form that takes. If you have any questions
regarding how international adoption works (as that is the avenue I
am most familiar with) please contact me; I would be more than happy
to help in any way I can. This need is too great to ignore and
these children deserve more than just our pity. They deserve
our action.
