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| At the airport the day we brought Jon homse |
Today is a special day for our family. This day is Jon's
homecoming anniversary; he has been with us for one whole year.
At this time last year, he had just gotten home and we were all
tired, nervous, and were wondering what the days ahead would bring.
It is hard to believe. In some ways, it has flown by, while in others
it doesn't feel like it could have been this long already. Let
me be a proud mom and tell you about him for a moment.
Jonathan (Jon) is 9 and has a gift for music. He loves his
piano lessons and talks glowingly of Miss Laura, his teacher.
He has an ear for harmonies and possesses literal perfect pitch.
We can play any note on his piano and he can quickly and confidently
tell you what note it is and if it is flat or sharp. This
talent extends beyond instruments; he can tell you what note a car
horn or doorbell is. He particularly loves acapella music and
at times will literally appear entranced by it, sitting perfectly
still and just listening intently.
When Jon laughs, it is a full, loud belly laugh. He is timid
and prefers what is routine and familiar but is gradually learning to
embrace and enjoy new activities. He loves to socialize with
people and tries hard to engage in conversations and, in this way,
shows much bravery, as he has only been in this country for such a
short time. He loves to eat and particularly enjoys burgers,
fries, and chicken bacon pizza from Dominoes. He has a
fascination with babies (real ones, not dolls) and loves to hover
around new mothers, often asking random questions about the baby and
hoping for a chance to see them.
He is doing well in school; he can read sentences in print, is
grasping basic math concepts, is understanding the difference between
nouns and verbs and is showing quite a knack for learning braille.
When he reads a sentence, there is excitement in his voice as he
tracks with the thought or concept that he has just read. Physically, he's still a little wobbly and uncertain of his legs, but he is overcoming in so many ways!
Jon is a member of the Roma people group, an Asian people who came to
Europe from India in the 14th century. The Roma are
often mistrusted and disliked by much of the world, especially
throughout Europe, and were even targeted as undesirables during the
Holocaust. Both Lexy and Jon love each other and love being
siblings. There are times when I watch them playing together and
would never guess that they have only known each other for such a
short time. This is an awesome thing, made more so by the fact
that Jon is Roma and Lexy is of native European ethnicity.
These two groups have not had a good history, yet through adoption,
they have become family without malice. It is a beautiful
picture of love and family, where ethnic tensions have no place.
In fact, it is a wonderful example of what the gospel of Christ
should look like in all our lives.
Now that you know a bit about my son, let me step back and tell you
what he was like and what his life consisted of before he came home
to join our family. We know that Jon moved around to multiple
orphanages, some of which were not well spoken of, although no
specifics were ever given to us. He spent his whole life,
before coming to America, in various institutions. There is
speculation that he was visited by his mother for a time, but we have
no proof of this. We are unclear if he was ever given any
formal education. He could not stand or walk unsupported, even
though (after diagnosis by doctors here) his legs and hips were
capable of these activities. He was discouraged from using his
left hand and arm, as the left side of his body was perceived,
rightly or wrongly, to be weaker. His cerebral palsy was
assumed to be more severe and, to an underpaid and overworked
orphanage staff, it was easier to have him sit on a couch by a radio
while they attended to the harder, more mobile children. If our
times visiting him during meals are any indication, all he generally
ate was soup and small pieces of bread and an occasional piece of
candy. His skin was blotchy and rough in many places. He
seemed never to have brushed his teeth or taken a full-on bath before
coming to America, at least based on his first reactions to both
activities. He now loves bath time, by the way. He
weighed 48 pounds when he came home at eight years old. No one
took an interest in his posture; he was often, when we visited him,
hunched over with his chin literally on his chest and his whole body
had a general left lean to it.
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| Jon during our first visit |
Why am I telling you this? It is not because I am wanting to show
what a great family we are and how far we have taken this poor boy.
On the contrary, he teaches me so much every day. Nor do I wish to
disparage the orphanage or the staff that cared for him before he
came to be with us. We are thankful for the care they were able to
give him. Instead, I am telling all of this in hopes of showing the
impact a stable, loving, structured family and home life can have on
a child. It is not easy by any means and some days are better
than others. Children need family and structure, and I hope
this comparison of my son's former and latter life proves that.
We are far from a perfect example, and yet even in our home, a child
like Jon has been able to thrive and grow in astonishing ways!
Consider if you, as a foster parent or through adoption, could
provide this change of life for a child. It will be at times a
painful sacrifice on your part, but these children are worth a little
discomfort. I can't help but wonder where Jon will be in
another year from now or, for that matter, five. I will admit,
sometimes I find myself wondering how far we would be if we had been
able to adopt him earlier. But going down that road never
accomplishes anything. I am thankful that he is with us now and
for all the progress he has and is making. I look forward to my
post about his two years home. :)
